Hold On…

Well, that was the week that was.

Charlotte has been with me for 10 days here in French France and now has returned to the UK in time to watch the Euro footie final. Not that that was specifically the reason for her to fly back but, just as time waits for no man, in Charlotte’s case, her employment was gagging for her return!

I appreciate that on Facebook, Charlotte has alluded to our time together after being apart for seven months, likening it to the pain of childbirth and how it is forgotten as soon as it is over, but I couldn’t let this time go without blogging a bit about it. Not childbirth as I haven’t had that pleasure, but I refer to the separation and distance that Brexit and Covid have caused over the past months. 

As I have been otherwise occupied this week, you will have undoubtedly noticed my radio silence for this period so it will not come as too much of a shock to you when I say how fantastic it was to be physically held, for the first time, this year.

As I drove into Limoges Aéroport and saw her waiting for me at the kerbside, my heart leapt. The excitement that had previously been felt at her imminent arrival was magnified as visually, the stored image of her in 2D became the living, breathing 3D creature that was smiling and waving at me across the tarmac. 

I abandoned the car with the engine running, in a single file, no stopping point of the airport and throwing her suitcase into the back of the car, threw myself into her arms like all the great romantic films portray. We held on tight for what seemed like forever and kissed like the first time we met. Tears flowing, I don’t think I’ve ever been happier. All the months of being physically apart and having to rely on a less than perfect internet connection were truly over for the next 10 days as we became reacquainted with everything that makes us, us.  

Connectivity of a tactile nature, when it’s not there, has to be one of the hardest things we as humans have to sometimes cope with. To hold. To hug. To kiss. To make out. To be. To cohabit the same space. Now at this moment in time, Charlotte’s hand is 500 miles away in a different country and as lost to me as the whereabouts of my Makita sanding machine.

I know that likening physical human contact to an inanimate object such as my missing sander isn’t that good a correlation, but in not being able to lay one’s hands on either after the wonderful time we had together, (sander included) brings a certain feeling of irritation and annoyance. As well as a big sigh…

In life, we pretty much get what we ask for.

Charlotte talks about putting it out there into the universe and waiting for it to happen and that is true for hopes and wishes, even plans for our future. Some things we have to work that bit harder for.

As the Covid pandemic has brought a change in how we view personal space, so too has this separation of ours changed our ability to reach out and touch, hold, caress, and feel one another’s skin. 

I read during the early stages of the first wave of the Covid-19 pandemic in 2020, how not being held by another person can bring us emotionally low and a simple remedy is to give yourself a hug and hold on tightly. Give yourself a squeeze.

I’ve tried that and to be fair, it’s just me giving myself a hug. I can tell the difference. Someone said try sitting on your hands and making them go dead by stopping the circulation, but that didn’t really work either. It just made them flop about in a rather useless fashion.

Another report mentioned stroking. Allegedly if you stroke your arms at a speed of between 1cm/second and 10cm/second it has a particular effect that is far more pleasing than if the speed is increased to a higher rate. A genuine study on tactility.

I’m not suggesting we all go out and start stroking each other. Just because some of us are suffering a lack of closeness, I wouldn’t recommend getting up close and personal with complete strangers. That might end in a one way trip with an indefinite incarceration at Her Majesty’s Pleasure!

Charlotte and I have of course now resorted once more to video and WhatsApp messaging which just make the distance between us seem even greater. When you are close, you can sit in silence quite comfortably and watch as the world goes by. It isn’t the same when you try that on Zoom. And then there is the time delay that often occurs and you end up obliviously talking over one another with the obvious fractious annoyance that then occurs.

So we busy ourselves in work. Me here in France with the buildings and grounds to develop and maintain and Charlotte with her employment as a Director of Digital Transformation in the UK. For the next few months the future is what it is. There’s nothing we can do to make it any easier. In fact, having had the time together and then having to separate again, it feels almost harder as we have had a small taste of what is hopefully to come. 

We look forward to the time when we can be reunited and once more share that same quiet space. 

Until that time, whether it be sat sitting on one’s hands and stroking yourself, stay safe lovely people, share the love, look after each other, hold on and…

Carry on regardless!

Charlotte, I’ll see you soon…xxx


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