Author Archives: Daniel John

From an early age we are all bombarded with images of the perfect physique, height, weight, shape, colour of skin, the perfect hair in the perfect style, perfect dress code, the perfect accent, or having the perfect smile. Even having the perfect smell is important, as Billboards are forever purporting an idyllic life, if weContinue reading “Picture Perfect”

Children should be chipped at birth. I have long advocated for this method of being able to know where your offspring are, at any given time, when the necessity arises. No child would ever be lost again. Only to be activated in time of need of course. For anyone who has children of a certain ageContinue reading “F1 and H…..”

Friends can be special creatures of uncertain habits. Now before all of you come knocking at my door with a baseball bat, wrapped in barbed wire, called Lucille, fear not, identities will be unrecognisable to those who do not actually know the individuals in question, so that the innocent are protected. Those who fail theContinue reading “You can choose your friends”

M is a Crazy Cat Lady. She won’t mind me saying that because it is the truth. We had a rescue cat called Newton who damaged his tail so badly it had to be removed. A year later he passed to the Great Cat Domain in the sky. We weren’t having another cat until IContinue reading “Cat Tails”

There is a song in the film Top Hat (1935), written by Irving Berlin, called ‘Cheek to Cheek’ whose first few lines are, “Heaven, I’m in heaven, and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak, and I seem to find the happiness I seek, when we’re out together dancing, cheek to cheek….,” whichContinue reading “Toilet Talking”

I have known my Dentist since he left Dentist School and became qualified. I’ve never worked out why anyone decides that, given in life you have the choice to be anything you want to be (except for possibly a Rocket Scientist – although I think G is heading that way), would you decide on aContinue reading “Upper Left 8 Missing”

As we enter the Realm of Spring, here in the UK we have a precipitation of nothing more than fine drizzle that is despondently damp, the net result being we spend most days feeling rather moister than we would like to be. Our moistness creates mould in our bathrooms and nooks and crannies within ourContinue reading “Spring Cleansing”

There is a time in every man’s life when a shed becomes an important necessity to the family home. During your twenties, a shed is as far from your bucket list of needed items as tweed jackets or pipe and slippers, but come your thirtieth birthday, suddenly the focus of all your desires becomes aContinue reading “Shed Talk”

If there’s one thing that most people of a certain age pray for, it is to extend the time left available to them. Having had so many near misses and close escapes and sailing far too near the edge of the precipice, I can fully agree to this sentiment. So often on flights to foreignContinue reading “Give me just a little more time….”

“You’re just in time” cried I, (in my best West Country accent), as you have just opened the door to a world of delights or mayhem, whichever way you want to look at it, that goes for an explanation of what passes as Life Chez Moi. A moment later and you could have been side-trackedContinue reading “Carry on Regardless”