It has been said that anything other than sliding sideways into heaven with a used up and worn out body, shouting to St. Peter on the way past, “Cheers old chap, that was a blast!” is a waste of a life!
Also, that if you’ve made enemies, then at least you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.
I’m sure we all have closets or wardrobes in our lives that have residing in them, varying degrees of personal historical issues, or skeletons.
To have reached adulthood and, by default, attained a level of physical if not mental maturity will, by its very nature, have meant that we have seen a progression through many relationships, situations and life’s phases. All of which have the potential to leave their mark, stain, scar or scab on us, in some form or another.
As Life’s Rich Tapestry unfolds and the records of our deeds are written against our individual Ledger, our closet conscience stores everything we’ve ever done, or said, or thought, for examination at that last great day of expiation.
In times of immense stress or impending doom, it is known that your life flashes before you, as suddenly, the little corners of your mind’s whole existence, the boxes where you have hidden and locked stuff away, are all thrown open in an attempt to find a solution to the situation you find yourself in. We know that everything we have done or learnt is still in there, even though we sometimes kid ourselves that we’ve forgotten about it, lost the key to access it, or sometimes and for certain issues, buried it so deep so that it can’t hurt us anymore.
Unless you have the naivety of a new-born baby, your closet, like mine, will undoubtedly be rattling away with all manner of events, good and bad. Some things to be proud of and others that you are ashamed even think about or admit to.
Limiting the bad content in life is of course the key to having a happy, peaceful and easy ride. However, in being able to appreciate just how good life can be, comparison with the storm makes experiencing the calm waters all the nicer.
Without knowing hell, how can we know heaven?
Without Darth Vader and the Dark Side, what would be the point of Luke Skywalker?
Many of us will openly admit to having a few false starts in relationships but now thankfully we’ve finally got it right this time. I often say that I wish I’d found this or that out earlier, but then if past pain hadn’t been felt, with immense struggles and challenges, I wouldn’t know how good what I now have is.
This week my own closet door has been slammed back on its hinges and busted wide open.
The Crowbar of Confession and Reconciliation has been breaking through the personal, private prison padlocks and bars that time or circumstances have erected in an attempt at avoidance and self-preservation.
The closet contents have been ransacked, turned over, strewn about, dissected; the bones have been generally chewed and gnawed upon.
My foundations and bedrock have been thoroughly shaken.
And all in a good way too.
Personal issues and memories I’ve stored away, buried, suppressed, endeavoured to not think about or deal with, eventually this week have come bobbing back up to the surface and demanded my attention.
This is definitely not a case of turning up like the proverbial bad penny to cause further heartache and pain either. Instead, it has been the realisation and confirmation that at this moment in time, here and now, it’s ok to talk.
Back then it wasn’t right. No one was getting out unscathed. It has been brutally but honestly put to me as being a time that was ‘messy and sad’. Harsh words, but fair!
With maturity and hindsight however, past events can now be seen for what they really were.
Just as the rising sun of a new dawn sheds it’s light and lustre all around, to expose that which has been hidden by the darkness of night, so the things that have been buried for so many years have been brought out of the closet, into that bright, exposing light, enabling them to be given a good thrashing.
The dust and dirt has metaphorically been beaten out of situations that have long lain dormant and undisturbed.
The cathartic washing and purification of so many years of pain and hurt has been wiped away with united relief and shared acceptance.
All is not irredeemably lost. All is not irredeemably broken.
We are all failed creatures searching for answers in some form or another.
As light exists to expel darkness, it is only when the light of love shines brightly into those murky corners and recesses of our life’s closet that we have an opportunity to expunge the hurt of failure, rejection and years of subsequent resentment; learning to live a complete life, happy, accepted and loved, just as we are, warts and all.